My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and this weekend will be our 7 year anniversary as a couple. Sounds wonderful but, there is nothing to celebrate...
Since a week now, my husband and I live as if the other is non-existant. It is not the first time that this behavior has taken place but, the silence is taking longer and longer to break. These silent moments are spurred on by the stupidest of fights, such as, not washing the clothes at night to save 10 cents on the electricty bill or not cleaning up the kitchen right after dinner or watching the tv too loud, etc. These fights turn ugly and result in a screaming discussion, and more and more often my husband leaves the scene and runs away. When he returns it is past 2am and I have long been asleep, so no chance to repair the damage immediately.
I always have to be the one to repair the damage. Never will my husband take the lead, and never will he appologize for anything. "Sorry" isn't in his vocabulary. I am so tired of being the repairer so this is why I think our slient fights last longer and longer each time. I hate having to always make the effort to keep us happy but, I am miserable when we are not happy together. I can't function and it makes it so hard to do anything that I would normally enjoy with my husband.
My question is, does anyone have some suggestions?
How can I repair these fights sooner?
How can little fights turn into such big disasters?
Will this role of repairing ever switch? I hate always fixing our relationship... Sometimes I think that if I did nothing, we could go months like this, and that scares me and makes me wonder if we need to get a divorce.
Any advice welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read my problems.